Ms. American Spy

from Mr. Right at In The Right Place, a bit of extended brilliance...

Ms. American Spy
(Sung to the tune of Don McLean's American Pie)

A short, short time ago
I can still remember
How the "Plame Game" used to make me smile
And as I read those D-Kos rants
I got a big bulge in my pants
And thought maybe we'd get "Chimpy" for awhile

But then June 12th made me shiver
Fate became an "Indian Giver"
Bad news on the Internet
Precisely what I had fret!

Oh, I remember how I cried
When I thought of Wilson's "outed" bride
Something deep within me fried
The day that Fitzmas died

So don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly
This'll be the day donkeys fly

Did you see the film Loose Change?
And do you have faith you're not deranged
Though ev'rybody tells you so?
Do you believe in "Downing Street"
The "Memo" that'll get Shrub impeached?
And can you prove Kerry won O-hi-o?

Well, I know that Diebold rigs machines
'Cause the exit polls are all I need
Vote counts are just a ruse
I'd Ra^ther trust CBS News!

I was a lone mid-thirties ne'er do well
In my Mommy's basement on her old-school Dell
But I could have sworn I was in Hell
The day that Fitzmas died

I started singin':
Don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly
This'll be the day donkeys fly

For nearly six years, we'd been overthrown
Reading psychotic rants in Rolling Stone
Believing every conspiracy
Will Pitt had to vent his spleen
With a quote he borrowed from Howard Dean
And a scream that came from you and me

Oh, and while Chimp's polls were looking down
Fitz dropped the ball and lost his crown
The Grand Jury was adjourned
No indictment was returned
And while Markos read a book on Marx
Code Pink protested in the park
Neil Young sang dirges full of snark
The day that Fitzmas died

We were singing:
Don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly
This'll be the day donkeys fly

Bash 'em, smash 'em, gut 'em all and trash 'em
Repukes get off, seems we just can't thrash 'em
All our hopes are fading fast
Nancy's built a House of glass
Those frozen assets could bite our ass
Didn't need that freezer full of cold hard cash

Thought TruthOut's scoop meant Karl Rove's doom
We envisioned his frog-marching gloom
Our cause it would advance
Oh, but we never got the chance
'Cause Leopold's tale was far afield
Those "business hours" refused to yield
Do you recall "Sealed Versus Sealed"?
The day that Fitzmas died

We started singing:
Don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly
This'll be the day donkeys fly

Oh, and there we were all in one place
Moonbats lost in cyberspace
With no chads left to count again
So come on, Fitz be nimble, Fitz be quick
Indict some Rethug and make it stick
'Cause indifference is the fascists' only friend

And as I watched him on the news
My lips were clenched 'round some cheap booze
But no drink the store would sell
Could break Bushitler's spell
And as the "Plame Game" died out in the light
To cheers from the "Religious Right"
I saw Freepers laughing with delight
The day that Fitzmas died

We were singing:
Don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly
This'll be the day donkeys fly

I met a girl who'd popped some 'ludes
And I asked her to improve my mood
But she told me that she was gay
I went down to the DU board
Where I'd read the good news weeks before
But the threads there said the indictment wouldn't play

And in the streets Mother Sheehan screamed
Franken cried, and Al Gore schemed
No "truth to power" spoken
Air America was broken!
And the blogger I admired most
Armando from the Daily Kos
He hopped a Lear Jet for the coast
The day that Fitzmas died

And they were singing:
Don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly
This'll be the day donkeys fly

They were singing:
Don't cry, Ms. American Spy
We'll get Libby for his fibby
And then Cheney will fry
And that smirking chimp will finally wave us goodbye
Singin', this'll be the day donkeys fly!