Monday, November 06, 2006

Fox Loses $53 Million By Only Opening Borat in 800 Theaters

Saw Borat last night, and woke up with my stomach still hurting from 90 straight minutes of convulsive laughter. Funny. Like Airplane funny. Like Animal House funny. Hilarious. Continuously. The term, "side-splitting" applies.

So how could the suits at Fox have watched that same movie, and been so frightened by the simultaneous bow of "Santa Clause 3" that they decided to only open Borat in 800 theaters instead of 2400, as originally planned?

Ye friendly note from the Editor. I don't like to impose my presence here too much, but I have to say how incredibly gratifying it is to see Borat open at number 1. It gives me great pleasure to say, screw you Fox! Your Khram is the size of a raisin. Im glad that Universal bagged Bruno. You should have had some balls and released Borat wide like you originally planned to. I bet you feel real stupid right about now. Think about how much money you just lost by dropping 1,700 theaters from the release.

Actually, we can figure it out... the per theater average was $31,511, so multiply that by 1700 theaters and we get $53,568,700. Maybe you wouldnt have made that entire amount, but we can easily say that your lack of faith cost you tens of millions of dollars. Wah wah wee wah, are you guys dumb!

I can attest to that last sentiment. My friend and I happened to sit next to two acquaintances of his, who are feature-film development honchos at two of the megastudios. Neither laughed much, and both seemed more interested in watching the audience and whispering about "how did they get the releases?" than in laughing.

So typical Hollywood, and the reason so many Hollywood movies suck. Because the studio people who make them aren't funny themselves, aren't talented themselves, and only make decisions that don't endanger their own careers.

Hollywood is getting its ass whupped by youtube, and for good reason. They deserve it. Wussies.


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